Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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