:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
