Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
she peed on how many people?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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