I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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