You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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