Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(609): View more from New Jersey

Your mouth is God's brothel.

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(443): View more from Maryland

So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.

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(504): View more from Louisiana

She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.

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(727): View more from Florida

please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am

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(201): View more from New Jersey

PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon

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(778): View more from British Columbia

4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee

(604): View more from British Columbia

How festive

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(423): View more from Tennessee

They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.

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(808): View more from Hawaii

I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.

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