Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize