I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
