If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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