"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
True but thats because hes a fetus.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
