Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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