How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
