I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Randomize
