She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
