I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize