My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I just had sex on a roof
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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