Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize