So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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