i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
