How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
