i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Randomize
