She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
