so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
