i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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