YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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