and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
