Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
