Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
