is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
