You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize