you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
She said her name was "party"
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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