and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
