Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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