wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
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