My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
