You don't have asthma, your pregnant
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
