if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
