No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
