He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Just pee around me
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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