I just pynch a tree in the face
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize