Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
