dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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