I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
