Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
