At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Randomize
