Non-Jews are for practice
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
