I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
