"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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