I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
