is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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