I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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