a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
