I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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