Is it normal to miss your booty call?
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
