brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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