Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
