he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
