Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
