sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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