i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
