idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Just cropdusted the office
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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